The Fear of Being Done
I fear being done, because being done means that I have to let others judge me.
It doesn’t matter if it’s being done with writing a blog post, or a presentation or a talk. If something is done, it means I’m inviting other people’s opinions. And that terrifies me.
But if I leave the project in a folder labeled draft, then all my mistakes can stay hidden. I don’t need to worry about what others think about my ideas. If I never publish anything, I don’t have to let others in on the secret that I’m horrible at grammar. If I never submit a proposal, I don’t have to be rejected.
Everyday Adventure
Every day, after daycare, my daughter and I walk the dog. The monotony of the activity became a chore, which one day my daughter refused to participate.
In a rare moment of genius, I asked her if she wanted to go on an adventure. She sang yes. We grabbed the leash and walked down the street, looking for squirrels. In our neighborhood, we regularly see deer, foxes, turkeys, owls, and even the odd hawk. Our neighborhood is full of animals and yet, intentionally looking for the most common of animals - a squirrel - transformed our walk into a magical adventure.
The Gaslighting Theology
My older sister asked, "Isn't it hypocritical that you don't believe women can be the head of the church?"
My sister's question sent me back to the bible. Scripture doesn't put limits on women in ministry. The Bible tells stories of women in leaders in the Old Testament. Jesus and Paul affirmed and encouraged women to be leaders - counter to the culture of the time – throughout the New Testament.
No, That’s Not the Interpretation
Scripture informs how I spend my money, where we live, how we are raising our daughter, my vocation, how I love my husband and how my family interacts with our neighbors. Scripture is the driving force for how I vote and how I engage with our government.
Because of the centrality of scripture in my life, when someone twists the bible to defend unjust laws, I cannot keep silent.
What if We Actually Followed God?
Culture wars fascinate me. It seems the church culture finds the most hypocritical issues to fixate on.
Church culture seems obsessed with bathrooms but is relatively silent about women being raped and assaulted. The rights of a baker to refuse service to a gay couple is adamantly fought for, while children are ripped from their families and kept in detention centers. We care about respecting a flag while ignoring President disrespecting our values. Culture wars seem more about protecting the privilege our country has granted Christians, then standing for Jesus.
When Did We Stop Being Polite?
I was always taught to be polite. To think about how my words made other people feel and to not speak when my words were going to be hurtful. And while my sharp tongue often got me in trouble, my parents were quick to reprimand me.
On one such occasion, my father’s driver – Ishmael - drove me to my horseback riding lesson. We boarded my horse at the stable where I took lessons. I had gone to the stables more times than I can count. That day, I didn’t pay attention as Ishmael drove. I didn’t notice when Ishmael took a wrong turn. We got lost, and I was late for my lesson.
My response was to yell at Ishmael.
False Teacher: Nationalism
I love the south. I love fried everything, I talk to every stranger, and I am a rabid football fan.
But as a Christian who has wrestled with Jesus’ command to love all people, I’ve struggled with the nationalistic false teachers in the south urging others to abandon God’s call for love. For years, I’ve claimed southern culture, while judging those held captive by false teaching.
The Faith to Believe in the “We”
My cultural lens that colors everything with American individualism made me once again blind to the fullness of God.
While leading a bible study at a camp, whose theme was the beloved community, I made the classical American mistake. I switched “we” with “I” changing the verse to “For I am God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” And while that’s not wrong, it’s not right either.
A Woman’s Place
A woman’s place is in the kitchen; she had always been told. Cleaning, cooking and preparing a house was holy. And as she watched her sister skillfully perform those duties, she wondered, but where do I fit in?
Her sister allowed for the hospitality of their culture to be realized. Her skill in the kitchen created a great banquet to host this new teacher. But as she watched her sister work, she felt called to go to the teacher. Aware of the culture’s expectation of her as a woman, she left her sister to sit at this new teacher’s feet.
A New Rabbi: Starbucks
Two weeks ago, two black men walked into Starbucks. Minutes after they walked in, an employee from Starbucks called the police to have them removed. Starbucks recognized that this was not an isolated incident and responded by taking responsibility. The organization announced that they were going to shut down their stores to host a training for their employees.